Empty-handed

      Empty-handed. After having spent most of the day painting,  I look at it and then I decided. No. 

This is no good. This is not me. I grabbed the paint and I put it under the tap and washed, to leave no traces of all the hours and work material that had dedicated.

     Frustrated, I wondered if I should give up painting with acrylics and whether it should devote to other mediums and art. I felt with my hands and my heart empty, unable to finish the deal with my painting. Its left me emotionally and physically exhausted. For a change, I started to question my own expectations.

    I had the wonderful idea to distract myself looking the boards from Pinteres (Harakiri). I saw wonderful and amazing techniques. What a talent people! I asked myself, and where was I? What is my contribution?

     At the end, when sadness and desepción invaded me I wonder if these artists I admire and who do those jobs so wonderful had ever felt as I have feel today.

     I think the answer is simple, certainly yes. Today more than ever I am aware that as the personal aspects of life creative states has its highs and its lows.

     Today it is room for error and failure. It makes me vulnerable and makes me learn.

     Have you ever felt you wanted to do something very badly and you are left with empty hands?

   

       

 Con las manos vacias.

     

Con las manos vacías. Después de haberle dedicado casi todo el día a una pintura, la miro y decido. No. No sirve. Esto no soy yo. Agarré la pintura la puse debajo del grifo y lave, como si fuese un plato hasta que no quedaran rastros de todas las horas y el material de trabajo que le había dedicado.

     Frustrada, me pregunte si debo desistir de pintar con acrílicos y si debería dedicarme a otro tipo médium y técnica. Me sentí con las manos y el corazon vacios, el no poder terminar de lidiar con mi pintura me dejó emocional y físicamente agotada. Para variar, empecé a cuestionarme mis propias expectativas.

     Se me ocurrio la maravillosa idea de distraerme mirando un poco los boards de Pinteres (Harakiri)  en busca de inspiracion, ví trabajos maravilloso y técnicas increibles. Cuanto talento!  Me pregunte a mi misma, y dónde quedo yo? Cual es mi aporte?

     Al final, cuando ya la tristeza y la desepción me invadian me pregunte si estos artistas que tanto admiro y que hacen esos trabajos tan maravillosos alguna vez se habrán sentido como yo me he sentido hoy.

     Creo que la respuesta es sencilla, seguro que si.  Hoy mas que nunca estoy consiente de que al igual que los aspectos personales de la vida los estados creativos tambíen tiene sus momentos altos y sus momentos bajos. 

     Hoy me doy espacio para el error, para fallar y para aprender.

    

Alguna vez te has sentido que querias hacer algo con muchas ganas y te has quedado con las manos vacias?

She is ready!

  

   It took me just two day to finish my painting. As I said before I went through my whole creative process stage by stage once again but this time was different, this time I tried to be kind with myself.

I fought with many ideas and feelings during the process until the painting finally won. When I see her I don't feel satisfied but she lets me know that I'm just doing what I'm supposed to do to reach my goals.       

     I have been overwhelmed by the quantity of information from the course and it has make me feel paralyzed, I'm  thinking to much. I not ready for many things, but I'm taking baby steps and that makes me feel more comfortable. I feel a little tired of my paintings, I think I need more experimentation and take risks. I think I will try some abstract to see what happen and how I feel. I'm not fan of abstract painting but I will be brave this time. Wish me luck!

Ella esta lista!

     Me tomo solo un par de días terminar esta pintura y como dije anteriormente pase una vez mas por cada una de las faces de mi proceso creativo. Pero esta vez fue diferente, en esta ocasión, trate de ser mas amable conmigo misma.Uff ! Luche con muchas ideas y sentimientos durante este proceso hasta que finalmente la pintura gano. Cuando la veo no me siento totalmente satisfecha, pero ella me hace saber que estoy haciendo precisamente lo que bebo hacer para alcanzar mis metas. 

     He estado abrumada por la cantidad de información del curso y esto muchas veces me ha paralizado, estoy pensando demasiado. (para variar.) Estoy un poco cansada de como se ven mis pinturas, creo que necesito mas experimentación y tomar riesgos. Creo que intentare pintar algún abstracto esta vez que pasa y como me siento. No soy muy fan de los abstractos pero seré valiente en esta oportunidad. Deseame suerte!

My creative process.

I don't know how yours creative process is but I have a few different stages while I'm painting or creating something. 

At the beginning I'm very excited, and I can see practically the whole picture  in my head. When I start to paint I am even more exited.

 The colors, the options, the materials are very stimulating and  I think I will have fun! In the middle of the process I start to feel a little bit of frustration about how the painting is coming out. It is usually not what I imagine at the beginning and its not what I wanted to be.

 On the other hand, I feel a curiosity about how this picture will end up and I work, work and work until the final product makes me happy. When the painting is ready I feel a kind of emptiness. The picture is ready... sometimes it makes me happy and  sometime not to much. 

Maybe I have a lot to learn about creative process but I just discovered that 

what I really like the most is precisely that,the process.

Work in process.

  What about you? How do you drive you creative process?

Make up my mind is not easy.

     After of two week or more of negotiations with my monsters and dealing with a ton of ideas. I did it!  It has been frustrating some time but I decided not to quick! Please be kind with my English skills, my native language is Spanish and my plan is make this blog in two languages English and Spanish.
Only until now I'm brave enough to make this post and show to world the things that I have to show.
My online course has been fantastic, but at the same time hard to assimilated and internalize.  I had to figured out how to make a new blog and a Facebook page under my name (really scary), start to calling  myself "an artist" and accepting that only with practice and step by step a will make my own path. It has not been easy.
Here I am, willing to take fly, scared, with my toes in the edge of precipice. Ready to Fly!
I have to say that this could not be possible without all the encouragement of my Facebook group of  Taking Fly 2012! Every time that I put a question someone answered y gave me supported to keep going. I am really really grateful.

Submerged.

I also have been painting a lot, and this is one of my latest work. I think that she reflex how I have been lately, full of new ideas, feelings and fears.